I'm going into this article assuming the reader knows what I mean by ‘coming out’, but just in case I’m wrong I’ll define it for you. Coming Out: Coming out of the closet, or simply coming out, is a metaphor for LGBT people's self-disclosure of their sexual orientation or of their gender identity. (Wikipedia) That's the textbook definition, but as I said it means something different to different people. For me, the issue of coming out to my parents has been rather unpleasant. I hadn’t realised they were somewhat homophobic until I realized I wasn’t straight. My mom has gay male friends and it was never a problem. The problem is that they are ok with gay people as long as it isn’t their kid. I can kind of see where they are coming from, although I don’t appreciate it much. They know that my not being straight will make my life a little bit harder, and no parent wants that. I (sort of) came out to my mom a couple months ago. I say sort of because she pretty much acted like she didn’t believe me. That, no doubt, was a surprising response. Of all the things I was worried about, like anger or punishment, ignoring it and saying that I wasn’t who I said I was ended up being worse that any of the scenarios I thought of. Her claim that it was all just a phase hurt me more than she knows. I’ve spent enough time trying not to be bisexual to know that I definitely am. Most of my friends know about who I am and are pretty accepting. The ones that are unaware are only that because I haven’t felt the need to tell them, or they don’t like talking about that stuff. I have found that mostly with my guy friends. They don’t care and don’t want to talk about it, which is fine by me.
Some of my LGBTQ+ friends have had different experiences than me. My good friend, who is demi and pan sexual, found coming out to be an easy and natural thing. She grew up in a more accepting household and didn’t feel the same fear I felt when she decided to share her identity. As a LGBTQ+ person, it is essential to know your surroundings/who you’re surrounded by. If you are safe and ready to come out, then I encourage you to do so. If you know your situation is not LGBTQ+ friendly, then I strongly advise that you keep your identity to yourself, even though I know it sucks. I’m lucky enough to have cool, accepting friends and teachers at Jenkintown that allow me to be myself. I strongly advise you to visit the GSA that meets every Wednesday after school In Mrs. Hackett’s room. It is so liberating to be in a room with people like yourself, discussing issues that affect you in a safe space.
Something that has helped me a lot is learning the terminology. There’s many more identies than gay and straight, and if you know what each entails then accepting who you are might be easier. When you are young and realising you are different, it can be scary not knowing why you feel that way. Realising you are part of a bigger community can help you to feel less alone, and ‘labels’ help you to do that. Some people prefer not to have labels and to just love who they love, and that’s perfectly good too. I’ve just found that using the term ‘bisexual’ has made it easier to come out to people and sometimes makes dating easier too.
My coming out journey is still pretty new, and I know the worst is not over. But I’ve reached a point where I have decided to love who I love, go after what I want, and not worry so much about what other people think about it. This is kinda hard for me to talk about, but I’m grateful to have this platform. If this helps just one reader in their coming out journey, then this article is a success. Good luck with whatever you decide is best for you and remember to be safe!